Sitting, Thinking, and Recovering: Musings of an Old Guy

Here I am, sitting in my chair, typing away with nothing particularly pressing on my mind. That’s become a pretty normal experience for me these days. Thoughts don’t flow as easily as they once did, and I’ve come to accept that. My mind isn’t as quick or nimble as it used to be, and my thinking has become more deliberate, more measured. These days, most of the thoughts I entertain are the kinds that I guess most older folks think about: health, wealth, politics, sickness, and well… flatulence. Yes, even flatulence makes the mental rounds—there’s no escaping it as one ages.

In spite of that, I like to think I’m in reasonably good shape for an old guy. I’m currently in the ninth week of recovery from a truly miserable bout with a disease called C. difficile, or C-diff for short. For those unfamiliar, it’s a nasty gut infection that left me bedridden and questioning the universe for a while. The irony is that I got it because a “doctor”—and I use the term loosely—decided to prescribe a heavy-duty antibiotic for an ear infection without bothering to run any lab work to see if an infection even existed. That was a mistake that nearly cost me my comfort, if not more.

But time, as it tends to do, has moved on. I’m recovering steadily, and I’m grateful for that. I’ve learned to appreciate the small victories: a day without pain, a meal that sits well in my stomach, the ability to walk down the street without fatigue. These are the things that matter now, more than the endless ambitions and worries of my younger years.

Despite the lingering effects of C-diff, life retains its small pleasures. I love my afternoon naps, though it’s funny because even with these daily siestas, I still sleep well at night. There’s something deeply comforting about this rhythm—the slow, gentle slide from wakefulness to rest and back again. In the winter, when the weather turns cold and the world outside seems inhospitable, I have my fortress of warmth: a reliable heating furnace and a mountain of blankets that I can snuggle under to my heart’s content. Simple comforts, but priceless ones.

Looking outward, the political landscape is, well… chaotic. It seems like the world has gone off the rails in so many ways, and yet, I remain largely unaffected on a day-to-day basis. I still live freely; nobody on the street is demanding to see my papers. I have food in the house, clothing on my back, enough money to live comfortably. In the grand scheme of things, that’s a lot to be thankful for. Politics may rage and divide, but my little corner of the world remains relatively stable, and I cling to that.

I’ve never been one to spend much energy complaining about politics. The system feels distant, unyielding, and sometimes performative, no matter the election cycle. We go to the polls, we vote in these “pretend” elections, and then life moves forward with minimal acknowledgment of our effort. And yet, even in this apparent futility, there is a strange sense of peace. Accepting what I cannot change has become something of a pastime in itself. It’s not apathy; it’s survival. It’s knowing that my energy is better spent on the things I can control—my health, my comfort, my small routines.

I think there’s a freedom that comes with age. Younger folks chase dreams, ambitions, accolades, and status. As you get older, you realize that happiness often hides in the ordinary moments: a warm blanket, a good nap, a quiet morning without demands. I’ve come to embrace these simple pleasures because they are real, tangible, and entirely mine. They don’t require anyone else’s approval, and they don’t fluctuate with the news cycle or stock market.

Of course, this is not to say that age comes without its frustrations. The body does its best to remind you of its limitations, and the mind occasionally drifts into realms of worry about health, finances, and the state of the world. But those thoughts are now tempered by experience. I’ve learned that time will pass regardless of fretting or fussing. The key is to navigate life with as much grace and humor as possible. Hence, the occasional chuckle at flatulence or at the absurdity of some political spectacle. Humor keeps the mind light and the heart from hardening.

As I sit here, typing with nothing especially on my mind, I recognize that this very act is a kind of meditation. The simple act of putting thoughts into words, of recording a moment in time, feels strangely profound. It’s a small rebellion against the erosion of memory, a way to mark that I was here, thinking, recovering, living. The details of daily life—the mundane, the irritating, the comforting—become a tapestry of existence, stitched together with patience and resilience.

So yes, my thoughts may wander to health, politics, and bodily functions. They may meander with no particular purpose. But in this wandering, there is a quiet satisfaction. The world may be chaotic, the body may protest, and the mind may occasionally falter, but the simple pleasures remain. Naps, warmth, food, freedom, and a sense of humor—they are enough. For an old guy like me, they are more than enough.

And as the winter wind howls outside, I sit here, content in my chair, typing away with nothing especially on my mind. It’s a normal day, and that’s perfectly fine.

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